Having an anger management problem can ruin any life and the lives of those around the angry person. Anger is a poison that infiltrates every aspect of your life and has the ability to completely debilitate you. It clouds your view of the world so strongly that you no longer can see things through any other lens than your angry one. Being angry and holding on to anger gives you a false sense of control. Listening to that voice that says, “I’m never going to let that happen again!” tricks you into thinking you have control over people and things you will never control.

What causes a person to become angry?

Anger stems from your wounds in the past. Did you have a terrible childhood? Were you abused at sometime in your life? Did you fight in wars and suffer? Were you ever starving and cold for long periods of time? Did you suffer from a major illness? We all experience traumas in life. I believe that ,although trauma comes in different packages, everyone experiences them, and they are exactly what you need to help you grow. Each one of us can accept that challenge and choose to  overcome the hurt and the pain, or we can go in an opposite direction and crumble. After we experience these traumas, we develop anger as a protective mechanism to protect us from perceived threats.

Why does a person become angry?

An angry person is triggered by the fears created by their wound past. When anything happens that stirs some part of the wounded past, the person will get angry in an effort to stop the past pain from emerging. They use anger to make all their personal issues someone else’s fault. Somehow ,it feels like if you get angry enough, you will put up an emotional wall thick enough that no one’s hurtful actions will penetrate it and reach your heart. The angry person attempts to control the present and future by releasing anger established in the past.

The truth is that you control only three things in this life; your WORDS, THOUGHTS, & ACTIONS. Everything else is in someone else’s control. So it really makes no sense to be angry and hold on to anger because you are choosing angry words, thoughts and actions, but those things don’t really control other people. You may frighten people, and they will certainly distance themselves from you. But, are you really aiming to protect yourself by confining yourself to a little personal cave? After a while you’ll become lonely in your cave, and come to a place where you need people more than your anger. Then some fear from your wound will make you angry again, and you’ll go in circles for a lifetime until you can make a decision to deal with your anger.

Get help. Pray. Read. Meditate. Do what it takes to stop trying to protect yourself and control the outside world with your anger because you can.