Each day we wake up and go about our lives. Some days go by easily and others you wish never happened. For the easy days, we should remain grateful and enjoy them, while we brace ourselves for the almost always-unexpected tough times.
Hard times in life will happen to in two different ways. They occur as 1) consequences of your own bad decisions, and 2) completely and utterly out of your control. Those are the things that happen "to" you. Some things that happen as a result of your bad decisions could be destroying your life for drugs or alcohol. As a result you can end up losing your job, your family, and quite possibly your home. The things that happen out of your control will show up in the form of illness, accidents, unexpected deaths, and natural disasters. Many go to the doctor for a check up and leave knowing they have cancer. Spouses are lost tragically in car accidents, and victims of natural and terrorist disasters leave family behind to grieve.
When you've screwed up somehow and are trying to put the pieces of your life together, it's at least somewhat easier to get to the root of the problem and put the pieces together about how you got where you are. Other times you've been practicing developing a bad habit for ten years, and it takes something more shocking to jolt you into reality and self-awareness of your missteps.
When things happen to you, you feel completely helpless. You can exhaust yourself beyond words trying to understand why something terrible happened to you. I can't begin to understand what most people have gone through in their lives and losses. I know what I went through almost ten years ago when blood vessels ruptured in my brain leading to emergency brain surgery and a rough couple of years. With all that I went through, I realize I'm lucky to be alive and fully functioning. Those years of recovery were refining and molding and the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I just sat up one day and knew to my core that I was going to be OK. Although I couldn't see it then, I had an opportunity. Now I have a story to tell.
In that moment I accepted what had happened to me, understood it was not going to be easy or fun, and embraced the challenge to conquer life's curve ball. Therein lies the reason that healing comes painfully. It happens when you take your arms and your mind and fully wrap yourself in the situation. It hurts. It hurts a lot, and with that acceptance comes a release. That release allows you to begin to heal from a tough situation.
The same logic applies to tough times that happen as a result of your decisions, only its more challenging to get to that moment of self-awareness, which allows you to embrace the situation. Once you do you will experience a good pain that will lead to peace later on. With time your heart, mind, body and soul will recover. You can!