I received interesting feedback to my last piece about the difference between submitting and sacrificing. The question I received was, "What happens when you continue to submit and never receive anything in return?" I thought about it and decided that whenever resentment and negative emotion enter the picture, then it's time to talk because submission has transformed into sacrifice. Things get to that point because negativity has spiraled out of control, and blame is likely a huge contributor to that negativity.
It's easier to feel better about a situation in a moment when you place the blame and responsibility on another person. Have you ever stopped to consider what
portion of the responsibility might be yours? No one wants to do that because it can often be very hard to be honest with ourselves, especially when we feel like we are being attacked in some way. If you really arebeing attacked and abused, seek help and make a change if needed. It's not necessary to be a martyr to your relationship. What I'm asking you to do, is to honestly look at your situation and take any responsibility to the status of your life and relationship.
Then take the next thirty days and write down everything positive you can think of in your relationship. It may be hard at first, but choosing to think of the positive will stop the cycle of negativity and transform it into a flywheel of positivity. This can have miraculous affects on your life. Choose to be happy for other happy relationships. Be happy about a kind thing yoru partner did or does repeatedly.
It's important to remember you have no control over the other person's mind or actions. You only have control over your attitude and actions, so have an attitude of gratitude. When it feels hardest to be grateful, separate and write down everything you're grateful for like your health, your children, your car, your house, or having enough food to eat. Going through this exercise can help you to be grateful to a point where you can also be grateful for the person with whom you are in conflict.
Have faith and be grateful that people, places and circumstances can change for the better because you can!