December 23, 2014
Alexia Isaak
Dealing with conflict isn't always easy. It doesn't come naturally to me because I don't enjoy fighting or drama. Since conflict is a natural part of life, it's important to get comfortable with conflict even if you don't like it. One major aspect of conflict is learning how to stand up for yourself. This entails doing what is right for you and being true to yourself even if others don't like it. When you stand up for yourself, it can often be misconstrued as disrespect. So what exactly is the difference between disrespect and standing up for yourself?
When you stand up for yourself you speak up and don't allow yourself to be a doormat. You employ saying, "no." You are true to yourself and you do what you need to do for yourself even if it upsets another person. This isn't always easy, especially if the person you are standing up to is a parent, a spouse, teacher, or a sibling.
Disrespecting another person is reacting to another instead of taking the time and conscious approach to respond to that person. When you react you may curse, yell at, or be rude to that other person. It's important to also understand the difference between reacting and responding.
If you're dealing with a parent, it's important to obey your parent unless they're asking you do do something extreme like harm yourself or commit a crime. Unfortunately, that happens. They saying to honor your father and mother goes on until death parts you. It doesn't stop after you're 18 or 21. People often choose to respond with disrespect just to spite another. This is a very emotionally immature way to behave and will often result in more conflict and drama.
It can be best to repeat for understanding, and then say, "I must do ____ out of respect for myself. I'm sorry you disagree and see things differently." Another person may take your action as disrespect if you are saying no and not acquiescing to every wish. As long as you are true to yourself and feel confident you are not disrespecting another you will be fine.
Mostly, I want to encourage you to be conscious of what you are doing. People won't always see a situation the same way. That is guaranteed, so be sure to look into your heart and stand up for yourself with respect for yourself and others because you can!