We all face challenges that come in different packages throughout our lives. In my personal difficulties, I learned the value and benefit of experiencing the compassion of others. The love and caring from others helped me get through things. At the same time, I also experienced coddling from people who didn't want to watch me suffer. While the intention was good, they did not push me to fight the fight I was capable of myself. That ended up being my choice, and I'll be honest, I didn't always make the choice to be there for myself when another person was willing to be there for me. It was nice in the short-term, but in the long-run, it didn't serve me at all.
From time-to-time, I still face challenges associated with my head injury among other life challenges. When that happens, I desire compassion. I need someone to listen and give me a hug, but I also must be honest with myself, if I'm seeking compassion or coddling. It can be easy to look for coddling when you feel sorry for yourself and want someone to do something for you. Being enabled or babied is easier, but it is definitely not better.
I thought about it once when I was feeling sorry for myself and felt the draw to be coddled. I realized how easy it was in the moment to whine to get my way. It was emotionally immature, like a child. Although I didn't have the clarity of mind to see that about myself, I was fortunate enough to have it brought to my attention, and that mirror of my behavior stood right before me like a statue. It was a hit to the solar plexus, and I saw a fault. I had allowed myself to act like a child and seek coddling when I don't feel up to snuff. I'm swallowing hard as I write this and own that fault. Now as I feel the temptation to be a child, that imaginary mirror pops up before me reminding me to be emotionally mature and be an adult.
It was a bitter pill to swallow, but one that had to happen if I'm to progress on this life's journey. Coddling isn't the emotionally mature decision to give or receive, but it's perfectly wonderful to engage in compassionate behavior. I hope you will share compassion with others and be willing to receive it today if you need it because you can!