There is a delicate balance between choosing peace and making excuses for someone because they're very much tied to your personal standards and your heart. I've come through phases of making excuses for everyone because I wanted to believe a fantasy rather than reality. Then, I learned lying to myself wasn't helping anyone, particularly me. After that, I moved to the other extreme of having no give, putting up a wall and being militant about people who hurt me. Like my mentor, Rhonda Shasteen, taught me, we make most things up in the six inches between our ears.

Now that I've grown up more, I can apply reason and maturity to situations where I've been hurt. The thought process goes in a few steps.

1) Once I' feel I've been hurt, it helps to look at my level of relationship with the person. If we're close, then it can be easy to say something or just look past it. If it's a new acquaintance, you should probably chill out while building a rapport with your friend. Relationships take time to establish.

2) I think about the four agreements, which tell us do not take anything personally. Anything that offends you really isn't about you or a statement of your worth. The offender is sctually making a statement about him or herself. You may choose to take time to understand the person more and why he or she is acting in a certain way. This is also a good time to choose to respond rather than react.

3) Overall, it helps to slow down, not take things personally, and allow time for things to shake out before you make rash decisions based on an offense. It's hard for people to meet all of our expectations, especially if they don't know our expectations, so be reasonable. If a relationship that proves to be toxic over time, it's entirely reasonable to move away from that friendship towards healthy ones. I just encourage you to be mature, take your time and not take everything personally as you build relationships with people because they will happen for the rest of your life. You can.