I confess to being super organized and a recovering Type A. I'm an avid list keeper and manage my calendar constantly. I'm a planner to the max and appreciate a tight schedule that allows me to fit the maximum amount of activity in the shortest amount of time. I love efficiency. Life runs smoothly, right? Most of the time it really does go great. I've only had to learn that the rest of the world doesn't operate like I do.
I've learned most people don't have a Remember the Milk account, a well filed email box or a calendar that is up-to-date incorporating work, workouts, and down time. The hard part for me was learning to be more flexible and accept that the world goes on just fine without my level of acute organization. Then, at some point, the rest of the world and I must interact, and engage successfully at that.
For the longest time, I regarded people who were less organized as flaky. I've met people who were far more intense and rigid than I, and wondered why they couldn't be more flexible.
As soon as I accepted that I couldn't fit the world into my cookie cutter, everything relaxed tremendously, and I was able to understand the difference between being flaky and flexible.
Flaky people don't remember the commitments they made or follow through on their word. They backtrack, cancel, and double book. None of it is done in an attempt to harm, it's just part of our modern, casual society. All-in-all flaky people don't feel dependable to me.
Flexible people may need to cancel as well, but provide adequate notice and have a good reason. On the other side, a flexible person can be more understanding of other's constantly changing needs. I can comprehend my friend's need to bale as not being about me, but for another pressing reason. I've had to learn to not take things personally and be more flexible.
Over time, you learn who has more rigid, flaky or flexible behavior, and so long as you can learn to accept and love that person as is, then you can have a successful relationship to whatever degree you need. If not, then you may go your separate ways.
This is a subject I continue to think about as I adjust my expectations of people and society to be more open, loving, and accepting. Please share your thoughts, as I'd love to learn your perspective, too.
I encourage you to love your friends and family as they are because you can!