I'll tell you straight out that I'm a hugger. I love the warm, fuzzy reassuring feeling of a hug. I love pats on the back, pairs dancing, and holding hands. What does that tell you about me? Some people would say I'm a touch-er, and I'll tell you that my primary love language is physical touch.
If physical touch is my primary love language, then what other ones exist? In the book, The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman, he addresses that people receive love in one of five love languages the best. We even have secondary love languages. In fact, all people can receive love in each of the five love languages, but if a person does not receive love in his or her primary love language, then the person does not feel loved.
Additionally, everyone can learn to speak all five of the love languages that can help enhance every relationship in your life. This book was originally written to address married couples, but its simple, applicable teachings can be applied to friendships, co-workers, family, dating singles, parents and children and any other type of interpersonal relationship you can think of.
So what are the five love languages?
- Physical Touch. I'll start with this one since I already mentioned it. This means a person feels most loved through personal touch of some sort like a hug or holding hands.
- Words of Affirmation. These can be words of compliment or words of encouragement. If you think someone looks nice with a new hairstyle, say so. Thank your parents for the effort they have made for you in your life. If you have a friend going through a hard time, be sure to reach out to let them know you are thinking of them and feel confident things will turn around soon.
- Quality Time. This love language is expressed through simply being together. You can watch movies or go to the zoo. You can have a deep conversation and listen. Togetherness is the key to making this person feel loved.
- Acts of Service. This language is expressed through doing the small things, fixing a broken item around the house, taking out the trash, cooking, fixing things or anything else that will help make a person's life easier.
- Gifts. The person who receives love through gifts isn't really looking for high priced items. A hand made card or a candy bar will make a gift receiver feel special. This person attaches memories and people to gifts which are far more valuable to the person than the gift itself.
I encourage you to read this book. There are many editions for whatever stage in life you find yourself. I found it enlightening in many ways and easy to apply. So what is your primary love language? Take this quiz and discover. You can!