October 02, 2014
Alexia Isaak
Every day we go through life trying to achieve that "I'm alive" feeling. That why many people do extreme sports, skydiving, drugs and anything that can make a person feel like they're on a different plane than in everyday life. We aim to get around the protective walls we've put up around ourselves to act as buffers and safeguards against the pain, stress, and discomfort reality often brings.
We get comfortable hiding safely behind our walls, but what is the cost? It costs feeling. It costs connecting with other people around you on a different level. It costs that energetic connection we experience when artists have a moment or a performance that moves you. Those people have learned to move beyond the guardrails we have in place to protect us. I love this line from David Gray's song, "My Oh My" he says, "It takes a lot of love, a lot of love, my friend, to keep your heart from freezing, to keep on 'til the end."
I listen to it on repeat as I try to melt my heart from the deep freeze it's been in hiding behind fear, fear of being sick and fear of losing control of myself and my life. I've put up so many guardrails around my heart that I've blocked the energy channels coming from it. It is important to guard your heart, but I realize that means do not be naive. It does not mean that you should shut off your heart from people. With the thirteen year anniversary of my AVM rupture passing, and I've decided I don't want to hide behind fear anymore.
I've seen what it's like on the other side of that fear. I've felt the feeling of trust in my warm heart, surging to connect with myself and the world around me through love and trust…no more fear and skepticism.
It's so easy to stay frozen, because that frozen, hard heart feels protected from pain because you don't let anything in. You don't let anything out either. If you generate love through meditation, prayer, nature and anything else, it needs an outlet. It's hard to recognize your walls and what may be freezing your heart. If you can see it, then you can take steps toward healing that pain to "set your spirit free."
Free yourself from your invisible chains because you can!