How sensitive are you to that still, small voice inside of you telling you what decisions to make and what direction to take every day? I'm more sensitive to it today than I was in the past. I must tell you that with a lot of good practice over the years, I learned to suppress that voice so that I'd be free and clear to do exactly what I wanted. And that's what I did. I pursued what I thought was going to make me happy. Unsurprisingly, my intuition did not always prove right.
I dedicated myself to this pursuit for many years, and Ioften felt happy. Then little by little I realized that I wasn't as happy as I could be. This didn't happen as a result of a great epiphany of self-awareness. I realized I was not in sync with the best flow of my life after experiencing a year where everything fell apart. Work, health, relationships, and everything else completely disintegrated before my eyes. When things crumble around you and you are all that is left, you have no choice to examine yourself and listen.
As a result of the situation, I did a lot of crying and soul searching about who I was and how I was investing my time and energy. I always went to church, but now I went with a new ear to hear. What did I hear other than the soothing chanting of the priests? It was nothing very recognizable at first, but with time I grew very sensitive to that whisper in my ear. It was still and quiet, but completely distinguishable from all the other thoughts running through my head. This voice is strong in its ability to guide me in my decisions.
At first I would feel the nudge in a direction, and I'd carry on doing what I wanted to do anyway. Life continued and I didn't see much progress. I kept going to church in an effort to make sense of life, and the nudge kept reaching out to me until I decided to pay attention. It was about silly, insignificant things like what to wear that day, which road to take, or what to eat. Once I listened, I gained a sense of security and reassurance that I was doing the right thing, no matter how small. Then I remember the promise in Luke 6:10 that if we can be trusted with small things, then we will also be trusted with bigger things. I figure that over time, if I continue to listen to the nudge, that the flow of life will be in sync with where it should be.
Now I'm committed to learning more about obedience and listening to the nudge within me, and I hope that it may encourage you to listen to the nudge too. You can!