March 21, 2013
Alexia Isaak
Conflict takes so many forms. It can be a personal conflict with a loved one, a difference in opinions in the office, as arguments between parents and children fighting, or between businesses and customers. Differences are rampant, but it's what we do with them that will make the difference between success and failure. A long time ago I published a post inspired by my mentor, Rhonda Shasteen, called "Are You Comfortable With Conflict?" My mentor's advice to me was to choose to get comfortable with it now because it is everywhere, and you need to deal with it. Have a good attitude and approach your conflict.
Do you choose to sulk or run away from conflict? Do you try to ignore that it is there or grimace in fear of dealing with it. Those are surefire ways to fail. I'll tell you honestly I've often shied away from conflict in fear that addressing it will not go the way I want it to. I've since gotten over that and will tell you that addressing the conflict does not always go the way you want it to go. The reason is because you have zero control over the others involved in the conflict. You cannot change their reactions or attitude. you can not grow their maturity or have them act in a way you might call "reasonable."
Since you can't do all those things, I will share a few things you can do:
1. Acknowledge It. Talk About It. Let yourself admit and accept that you are feeling conflict. Then, make the choice to talk about it no matter how difficult it may feel.
2. Get Some Space. Sometimes you need to separate from your conflict for a while in order to stop being emotional about it and gain some perspective. Taking time away is ok, though I don't recommend more than a day or two because it will become counterproductive after too long.
3. Turn Away From It. Depending on the kind of conflict, you can turn away from it. If you are being abused in some way, you can choose to leave and exit the presence of the conflict. If your spouse starts doing drugs and you aren't comfortable with it, you can leave.
4. Go For Third Party Help. You can seek counseling and an outside perspective on your conflict to help you find the strength, courage, and help you may need to get through it.
Dealing with conflict isn't always easy, but it is important to do. If you find this information helpful, share this post. There's a lot more great life tips from my mentor in my book, Views from the 13th Floor. Have courage and deal with conflict because you can!