Who hasn't struggled with the control issue from time to time? Women in particular are notorious for being control freaks, maybe it's our uncanny ability to multi-task that lends to being controlling.
I remember a time in life when I was fresh out of college and scared to death to be out on my own. The only way to keep order in life was to try to control everything around me. Quite frankly, it was exhausting, especially when things didn't go as I had planned, which was inevitable.
Very early in my mentoring relationship with Rhonda Shasteen, she taught me a lesson about control that I will think about for the rest of my life. Hearing her words triggered a profound moment of self-awareness that made me ever grateful to have her as a sounding board in my life. Her wisdom is so profound that it is important to share with you.
One fine day in Rhonda's office high on the 13th floor of Mary Kay's headquarters, Rhonda told me that I couldn't control everything. She continued by saying that you can control only three things; your thoughts, your words, and your actions; and everything else is in someone else's control.
Wow! I thought momentarily dumbfounded. Then I thought about it more and still think about it frequently. For a while it was frustrating to not be able to control everything, but as I grow increasingly connected with this concept, work on self-improvement and change my thought patterns around control, I come to feel that it is quite a relief in many cases not to be able control the out come. That takes so much pressure out of having to orchestrate everything.
If we can manage to release the need to control, then we're free to be in the moment and respond to what life brings. That allows us to focus on our thoughts, words, and actions in a high integrity fashion with the best intentions. It also frees energy spent worrying about controlling everything to be used in a more positive manner.
So are you a control freak, and what do you do to help out controlling tendencies? Relase the need to control anything other than your words, thoughts and acitons because you can!